I can't prove what I'm about to share with you but I've watched it prove itself true for the last ten years.

Aging is a natural process. It's going to happen, and you can fight it, but you won't win.

Feeling old is different.

Feeling old is just that, a feeling. And that part, you're in control of.

At the time of writing this, there is no perfect way to stop aging entirely.

Sure, there are techniques, exercises, and foods that can help you turn back the clock and live longer. But those are all forms of extending lifespan versus stopping aging.

By fighting aging, you're fighting something you have no control over. It’s like you being angry at the weather. Being upset about things you can't control is the fastest way to being angry, depressed, and living a miserable life.

But what you can control is the way you view it…your mindset around it. I believe that feeling old has almost nothing to do with your body, and almost everything to do with your mind. And this is what I've watched.

I've worked with women who were 76 years old but more active, happy, and in a better place, appearing younger to me. Not physically, but from a mental and energetic perspective. Younger than women who were 46 who viewed their lives as ending.

This isn't to say that aging, both physically and mentally, isn't hard.

I’ll use myself as an example. I'm 32, and turning 32 this year was challenging.

“oh boo-hoo” 🤣

I get it…but when I was 22, I expected to be in a different place professionally, personally, and health-wise than I actually am, and that's been hard to swallow.

I feel like I'm behind in a lot of different ways.

But to make peace with this, I’ve been asking myself, “what fun would life be if everything worked out as expected?”

And when I look back at my life up to this point, everything has worked out perfectly to get me where I am right now, so I have faith that everything will happen the way it’s supposed to moving forward.

I'm sure you can picture two very different perspectives of aging from your own life.

Picture the person in their 80s still going strong, optimistic, and full of energy. Now picture the person in their 80s struggling to accept aging, leaving them feeling bitter and tired of life.

If I can distill down the many ideas from what I've learned working with women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s into the top 3, it’s these.

The first way to feel younger is to focus on what you can control. Be grateful for what you have and accept the way things are rather than wanting things to be the way they used to be.

The second way is to try new things. I'll never forget when a member, Cathy (who I believe was 67), told me she just got into law school.

I didn't know whether to laugh because she was joking, or if she was serious. When I realized she was serious, my initial thought was “aren't you too old for that?”

Shame on me…

But when I caught myself, I flipped my perspective to realize how effing cool this was.

To see someone in the second half of life willing to try new things, learn new things, and do new things.

You can teach an old dog new tricks.

The third thing is to take care of your body. Strengthen your body with exercise, nourish your body with the right foods, and allow your body to rest deeply.

Yes, aches, pains, surgeries, and replacements are probable and maybe even inevitable, but strengthening, nourishing, and resting will never make you feel worse.

And what if you flipped your perspective from viewing these injuries, aches, and pains as bad things that hold you back, to reminders of the life you've lived, the adventures you've taken, and the beautiful things you've said yes to?

There's one more perspective shift I keep coming back to, and this is the part I really can't prove.

I find myself wondering what the point of aging even is.

Why has mother nature, evolution, or whatever you believe in set us up in a way to deteriorate?

But looking at it as deteriorating is looking at it from a perspective of decline.

What if this decline is happening because our role in the world needs to shift?

From using your body to provide to using your mind to educate and pass on your life experience?

Of course, there are times where the younger generation may not listen. But that doesn't mean what you have to share, your life experience, and how you’ve learned from your missteps isn't valuable.

If you're fighting against aging and having a tough time coming to grips with it, a question to ask yourself is why…

Why is it so hard?

Why do you not want things to change?

What is it about the changes that are happening that’s hard to come to grips with?

Sitting with these questions may give you some uncomfortable but deep answers as to what you're feeling.

Know that uncomfortable feeling is often right before your breakthrough.

This article was very different from the others but I appreciate you making it this far.

Transparently, writing this was as much for me, in trying to shape my own view around aging, as it was for you.

If you’re open to sharing, I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings around aging and what I shared today.

Your friend and coach,

Ben Miknis
Revitalized