There’s one reason you keep falling on and off track and it has nothing to do with calories, diets, or a lack of willpower.
I’ve had thousands of coaching calls and even more conversations with members that I’ve worked with over the past 10 years…but it wasn’t until just a few days ago that I realized why it’s so hard to stay consistent.
I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that it took this long to connect the dots because every single woman has mentioned this being a challenge.
And I used to blame it on the diet not being sustainable as the reason why this happened.
But it’s actually something much much deeper, on a personal level, that is causing this.
What Makes It So Hard To Stay On Track
Diets are hard to follow. They can be restrictive, not enjoyable, and get boring over time.
But there are plenty of success stories out there for people who do follow through long-term, which leads me to believe that it is something else causing you to fall off track.
(And just to be clear, you not being able to follow through on a diet still has nothing to do with you…just because it works for other people doesn’t mean that it’s the right fit for you)
And that something else is a deeper, subconscious level thing.
What confirmed this was a coaching call I had a few days ago.
A member I’ve been working with for 7 weeks shared that by this point in the program, she typically would’ve fallen off by now and was having those same feelings of resistance to change course or switch programs.
So I asked, “Why do you think this is happening?”
She shared a vulnerable and emotional story about a traumatic experience that happened because she was focusing on being healthy and losing weight.
And over the past 40 years since it happened, she has had trouble sticking to a plan while trying to be healthy.
When she shared this, it made sense. Because she has competing commitments. Here’s what I mean by that.
Consciously, she’s wanted to lose weight and be healthier and has tried doing many things to feel more in control of her body.
But subconsciously her body recognizes that as a threat and does whatever it can to protect her from what happened before.
This “protection” has looked like negative self-talk or any other form of self-sabotage.
What makes this even more challenging is that her subconscious goal is something she wasn’t aware of.
And the same may be true for you…even if you haven’t gone through a traumatic experience yourself, any type of negative experience you’ve had around diets or weight loss can have this same impact.
Making The Unknown Known
The traumatic event the member experienced 40 years ago had a lasting impact because she was unaware of it.
It wasn’t until she shined a light on it and became aware that it lost its power and hold on her.
If you’re someone who’s experienced self-sabotage and falling on and off track, you can do the same thing to understand what’s holding you back.
Here’s an exercise to help you see why your self-sabotage is happening:
Think about the last 3 times you were doing well with your health, nutrition, or weight loss and then fell off.
Once you have those times, answer the following questions for each individual experience:
What was going well right before I fell off?
Was I losing weight, feeling more confident, getting compliments, creating better routines, setting boundaries, or prioritizing myself more?What was happening in my life around the time I stopped?
Think beyond the diet and program. What was happening with work, family, relationships, stress, emotions, or my sense of identity?What did staying on track begin to require from me?
Did it require me to say no more often, put myself first, change old routines, be seen differently, accept attention, or step outside of what felt familiar?Finish this sentence without overthinking it:
“If I actually succeeded and stayed this way, then ______.”What did going back to my old habits give me?
Did it offer comfort, familiarity, relief from pressure, a way to cope, permission to stop trying, or something else?
Once you’ve answered these questions for each experience, look back across your responses.
Ask yourself:
What patterns do I notice?
Is there something I’ve been calling a lack of discipline that may actually be connected to fear, discomfort, old experiences, or a need that isn’t being met?
Finally, ask:
What does becoming healthier require me to do, feel, or become that part of me may be resisting?
And what does becoming healthier require me to give up? (comfort, old identity, relationships, habits, etc.)
You don’t need to force an answer. The goal of this exercise is simply awareness. Notice what comes up, write it down, and get curious about the patterns you see.
This exercise takes some time but the insight you gain will have positive impacts for the rest of your life.
I want to reiterate that you don’t need to have had a traumatic experience for this to be something you’re experiencing. Any negative experience, even something like following a diet for 4 weeks, losing 10lbs, only to fall off track and gain it all back can create the same negative self-talk and self-sabotage around healthy habits.
As a coach and someone who specializes in exercise and nutrition, I can confidently say that this “deeper” work is more important than how much you move and what you eat.
Because it doesn’t matter what workout you do or healthy food you eat if your self-sabotage prevents you from staying consistent…leaving you on the forever yo-yo, losing and gaining the same weight over and over again.
But I promise that once you try the exercise above, staying consistent will be easier than ever before.
Your friend and coach,
Ben Miknis
P.S. Has negative self-talk and self-sabotage caused you to fall off track? You don’t have to share specifics, but I’d love to hear from you on if you’ve had a similar experience.
