Your eyes open and before your feet hit the floor, your hand already knows where the phone is.

You're checking texts, emails, and scrolling before you've had a conscious thought about your day.

And tonight, when the house is quiet and you're winding down…you'll do it again.

I know this because I do it too. And I've been thinking about why.

Here's what I landed on…

Social media has become a short-term solution for feelings that are completely human.

Anxiety.

Uncertainty.

Boredom.

We are the only species on earth that experiences these feelings the way we do.

They're part of what makes us who we are.

And yet the moment we feel the slightest twinge of one, we reach for the phone the same way a baby reaches for a pacifier.

But here's the thing the baby doesn't understand yet and you do.

Those feelings aren't dangerous.

Anxiety, uncertainty, and boredom aren’t good feelings.

But they aren't a threat to your wellbeing. If you sit with them long enough, they pass.

It’s really hard to do that though, which is exactly why we don't.

What's easier is grabbing the phone and scrolling until the feeling is buried.

Author Nic Peterson has a name for this. He calls it the "impulse of relief."

At the first hint (impulse) of discomfort, we reach for anything that makes it go away (relief).

And "relief" belongs in quotes, because it's temporary.

The uncertainty that makes me reach for my phone often comes back later. And often stronger than before. I’m sure you’ve felt this too.

Social media companies aren’t the only ones who figured this out.

Marketing departments are to blame here, too.

The perfect example is at-home workout equipment.

It’s January 2nd and you enjoyed a holidays full of great company…and great food.

You’re feeling a little insecure about your pants fitting tighter and it’s as if Peloton knows this.

Their marketing isn’t selling their bikes or treadmills.

They sell you the relief of what you’re feeling right now.

But the most relief you ever feel is the second your card gets charged.

Then it drops off a cliff, and the equipment collects dust. Turning into the most expensive clothes rack in the corner.

I’m guessing you’ve probably lived some version of that. Most women I work with have.

The program, the machine, the app.

It felt like the answer for about a week. Then it didn't, and somewhere in there you decided the problem was you.

It wasn't.

You were sold relief and relief was never going to last.

That's not a lack of willpower.

It's a trap that was designed by people who are very good at their jobs.

So do I think social media has a place?

I do.

It's connected me with people I likely never would’ve had the chance to meet.

And introduced me to more knowledge than school ever could have.

But it's also been the main source of my discontent, my frustration, and that nagging sense that I'm behind.

I'm not telling you to delete it. If you do, I think you'll be glad you did.

But if you don't, here's the one thing I'd ask you to try.

Start noticing the moment you reach for your phone. See if you can put a little space between the impulse and the grab. You're still allowed to scroll. Just ask yourself why you're scrolling first.

Because the second you can name why you're doing the thing, you're the one in control. Not the thing.

I'll be honest with you.

I'm tired of technology being everything and everywhere nowadays.

I'm ready for less technology, not more.

More quiet, more real life.

More of the moments the phone keeps pulling me out of.

Am I crazy for feeling this way or are you too?

Your friend and coach,

Ben Miknis